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Friday, July 16, 2010

Parenting

Sorry no pics for this post. I know it's been awhile since I have posted. I have been up for a little while now and was surfing the net. I came across some disturbing info on someone I know who happens to be a minor. It disturbs me on many issues but the one thing that I sit here and reflect on is PARENTING.

I am not this childs parent and at one point in time this child and I had a great relationship. Over the years it has became non-existant. This child protrays themself older than they are (which mind you I did when I was a teen) but not at the extint this has been takin. There is lack of responsibilty, lack of parenting or supervision. It makes me sick knowing that this child will become another satistic. (Pardon all the misspell words and bad grammer lol)

I sit here as a parent to small children but also a step-parent to a teen son and I am thankful for the upbringing I had growing up. I find myself repeating phrases or actions my parents did or said to me when I was younger. I hated them then, (the discipling) but I find myself having the same outline they did for me to my children. I don't find it bad to spank your child, or take away privilages. I believe children will respect there parents and parents role is to teach not be friends with there children. My mother always told me "I'm not your friend, I'm your mother!" "When your married and have your children then I can be your friend" I hated hearing that growing up, cause I wanted my mom to be cool cause some of my friends parents were there friends and weren't so strict. Looking back now I'm glad my parents were tough and hard on us girls. Those friends who had "friends" for parents had no respect, no accountability, and always seem to get themselves in trouble one way or another and there parents just didn't deal w/them.

Today's society is all about "lets not hurt someones feelings" "kids have rights" etc etc...Well you know what, yes kids and people have feelings and we should all be respectful but when your a child you need to know your role and listen to your parents. Adults are to teach and lead the way to bring up successful productive children into this world. If kids don't learn at home, manners, respect, accountability, intigrity, and everything else that makes them well rounded people at home then we have failed as parents and adding to this worlds already downward non-productive society. The old kids have rights too, well yes kids have rights. They have rights to listen and learn so they can use there rights in a good way and effective way when they are adults, parents and active society members paying bills, making a life for themselves without the help of there parents. Then they have rights that they can exercise and be heard till then in my opinion and how I believe kids rights are non-existant when it comes to discipline, teaching and learning what they need at home. Who else is going to teach them the tough lessons or what to expect if they don't learn it at home first.

When you give birth or raise a child it's your responsibility to make sure that child has all the tools he/or she needs to be active society memebers. If they don't learn or are taught these fundamentals of life at home we have failed as parents. When parents are too scared to discipline or too scared to hurt there child's feelings, we have given up on our children. We have done them unjustice. I'd rather my child say "Man my mom and dad was tough and strict on me growing up" then for them to say "My mom and dad didn't make time for me, they didn't care what I did." I'd much rather hear your a mean mom when they are growing up cause of the lessons I'm teaching them and have them look back when they are a parent as I do now and say WOW I get it. I understand it all now, and I'm happy I had that type of upbringing.

This may all seem out of left field and odd or just not your cup of tea of agreeing. Which is fine, I mostly did this for my sanity. It made me thankful for my parents upbringing, thankful for how Mark and I raise our children and thankful to belong to such a great belief and having a loving Heavenly Father who helps me be the best parent I can be. I know my children will have struggles growing up, I was no saint growing up and caused a few grey hairs if not ulcers to my parents. I know everything is not perfect and I know my children will have to face some tough challenges ahead of them especially how society and our world are today. Where wrong is made to be right and vice versa. They will struggle from right and wrong, but the one thing that will not change is my diligence in pushing them to be better people and make right choices and always be their parent and never give up on them and give them tough love when it's needed.

I'm happy my parents were not my best friends growing up and didn't allow me to have my way all the time and always pushed me to be the best I could be. One thing growing up my mom always said and I tell taylor since blake is still too young is. Home is where you make your mistakes. My mom would tell us girls that all the time. I'm happy she did, and being a mother now I appreciate that saying more. Home is where children make there mistakes and learn from them and its our job to give them that safe haven to do so and guide them and give them tools to not make the same mistake and learn from it so when it's there time to move on w/there lives. They can do so with confidence, and motivation that they have everything they need to tackle life and build there own home.

Thanks for listening to my rant and to end I will post a MEAN MOM poem!! ENJOY!!

Was your Mom mean?


I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.


Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said, we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.



We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labour Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.


She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!


Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.
Because of our mother, we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.


Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.


I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!